What's RIGHT about you?
Most of the people you know have walloped themselves with a dose of negative self-talk today. Most of their negative thoughts started within an hour of waking up. They’ve fixated on their weight, their clothes, their blemishes, the jobs they are doing at work or at home, the kinds of parents they are, what they’ve done with their finances. Their self-rejection goes on and on.
Is it any wonder that just about everybody has low self-esteem? This is the disease of our generation. We wallow in our imperfections until we drag ourselves down, and we feel even worse. We are meaner to ourselves than we are to total strangers and people we don’t like. How do you think that affects what we do? It isn’t going to make us great at achieving our goals.
If you think you are a loser, you start to act like a loser. If you think you look terrible, you start to look terrible. If you think you’re dumb, you’ll do dumb things.
If you could hear the negative thoughts that people around you have voiced in the last 24 hours, you would be floored. Most of what they say isn’t true or doesn’t matter. Or, if it is true and does matter, it isn’t worthy of the nonstop barrage that they are inflicting on themselves.
Stop it! Just cut it out. Make peace with what you look like today because you can’t change everything in an instant. Accept what you know and don’t know. Understand that, like every other person on this earth, you are imperfect – but that doesn’t have to stop you from doing amazing things. Why sacrifice this beautiful day to feeling inadequate? Why pull yourself down?
You can spend your days loving or loathing yourself. Which is going to give you a better outcome? How do you start on a course to appreciating who you are? Well, do your homework.
Even when you are feeling your worst, you can give yourself a personal reality check that will remind you that you are not a total loser.
Take a minute to take stock.
Spend some time thinking about the messages you have been playing in your head for the last week. Write down what you have been saying about the following topics:
- How you look.
- Your physical condition.
- Your ability to do your job.
- Your mental state.
- How smart you are.
- What other people think of you.
- Your ability to fit in socially.
- Your value to the world.
- Your upbringing.
- Your past.
- Whether you fit in.
- How strong you are as an individual.
- Your common sense.
- Your housekeeping skills.
- Doing what you “should” be doing for your family.
- How you stack up against your co-workers.
- What your bosses think of you.
- What your neighbors think of you.
Take a few minutes to celebrate your best.
Do this: Write down the ten key people who had the greatest impact on your self-esteem and some of the messages they gave you, good and bad:
Now it is serious list time. Tune out the negativity and spend some time taking inventory about what you really have to offer. Start by listing ten characteristics other people like about you.
List ten things other people like about you.
Take a few minutes to celebrate what you have done with your life that have been real victories.
List ten things you are proud of.
What do you see as your strengths? Do you like your personality? Your ability to take a risk? The color of your eyes? Your ability to interact with others?
List ten things you like about yourself.
For this next exercise, take stock of your accomplishments – but don’t limit it to things that would impress others. Sure, count career accomplishments and add in your beautiful kids. But count things like having the courage to dump a bad husband or learning to Hula-Hoop or being a good friend or cutting your long hair. Take time to take stock of the things that have made you the person you are.
List 50 things you have done right in your life.
Where did your negativity or self-doubt come from?
Okay, now where do you think you got the negative tapes in your head? Take a minute to write down what the key players in your life did to build you up – or tear you down. What did your mother do? Your father? Brothers and sisters? Friends? Schoolmates? Bosses? Neighbors? Others?
Remember: You can’t fix the problem until you take the time to figure out what you are saying, how often you are saying it and how it is coloring your overall feelings about yourself.
Finally...
- You can feel good about yourself, or bad. Your choice. You are now taking the steps to make yourself feel good.
- You have great control over your inner negativity, and you are now going to take charge of it.
- By focusing on your positive traits and putting your imperfections in perspective, you can live a happier and more productive life.
- It’s all up to you.