Don't ask? Don't get.
The business world is driven by favors, yet many of us are scared to call in a chit or put our networks to work.
You don’t get a medal for doing everything by yourself, and if you are afraid to put somebody else out by asking for help, well, get over it. This is how the world works. People will help you, but you’ve got to ask for the help.
We’ve all seen stacks of books telling us how women often worry more about relationships than results. We want to be liked. We don’t want to ruin a relationship by asking for a favor. We want to seem grateful, not greedy. You get more respect if you believe in yourself enough to ask for what you want and deserve. What have you got to lose by ask- ing? It’s not going to kill you.
“Don’t ask? Don’t get,” said former AT&T president Betsy Bernard. “What’s the worst thing somebody could say? The one thing you know for sure is if you don’t ask, you’re not going to get it for sure.”
What would you do if somebody asked you for help? You’d probably help them. It feels good to help other people, so give others the opportunity to help.
You can’t move ahead without a few favors, said playwright Eve Ensler. “If you ask people for something, it often makes them happy to do things, and then they are allowed to ask for something in return. One of the great things about being successful is that you can do something for someone else.”
People in power will help you, but you just have to ask for their help. I asked the retired banking trailblazer Alex Sink (who later was the Chief Financial Officer for the state of Florida) what she would have done if a teller wrote her a letter asking for a little mentoring and career advice. “I’d have taken him or her to lunch,” Sink said. “Always ask for help. Always. Get a lot of different opinions because people have different points of view about things.”
Comedian and actress Sandra Bernhard said she is uncomfortable asking for help, but “you have to get past that voice that says you shouldn’t ask for things, because asking is taking advantage of people. People ask me, and I’m glad to give them help, usually.” If a young performer wants help and has talent, she might give the person a job, an invite to tour on the road, or a chance to open for her. “At least I can put a little money in their pocket. It’s something I like to do.”
Are you hearing this? Ask. There is nothing to lose. Do you realize what you will gain by giving up on that fear of asking for favors or help? If the information is out there, and other people have it, go get it.
Successful people will help you. They want to help you. All you have to do is recruit them to your cause. Success can be created with simple emails to successful people asking if you can connect with them for an hour of mentoring. You have nothing to lose by asking.
Ask. Ask. Ask. Ask. Ask. Ask. Ask. Ask.